BAD LOVE
by bordoutofmymind
Summary: carlos loves logan and logan loves carlos but what happens carlos might die oh logan will go over the edge UGH suck at summarys first story...Co-writen by Min-Min-chan
1. Chapter 1

**NO POV**

Sun shining through the window on a bright and sunny day in LA, people start to stir in their beds in apartment 2J. Mama Knight is the first to wake up, she starts making coffee and breakfast. The smell of food stings through the boys noses, Carlos rushes down stairs to the kitchen where MS. knight is just finishing the pancakes and sets them on the table as Carlos sat at the table , "Good morning "said mama knight to Carlos as she turns back around to grab juice and coffee. Carlos says "good morning mama knight" before grabbing a plate and a cup while the other boys lazily walk into the kitchen with Katie right behind them and take a seat at the table, Mrs. Knight says "good morning " to the others and they say "good morning " all at the same time. Everybody finishes eating and heads to take a shower and get ready for the day.

Carlos jump out of the shower dries himself off and wraps a towel around his waist as he proceeds to do his daily morning routine. He exited the bathroom and walks to his bedroom that he shares with Logan. He walks in his room and starts pulling out clothes for the day, he pulls out a purple v neck shirt with black skinny jeans. He drops the towel about to put on is purple and black boxers when the bedroom door opens with Logan standing in the door way frozen from what he is seeing.

**CARLOS POV**

The door to my bedroom comes flying open and I jump about five feet, I see Logan standing there about to say something then just stares at me, I look down and notice I'm not wearing anything so I race to grab my boxers and pull them up. I turn to look at Logan who's still standing there frozen so I wave a hand in front of his face.

"Dude what the hell?" I say a little pissed at him.

"I…um…."said Logan not able to find words to say and starts to blush

"Why are you blushing?" I ask. The room becoming really awkward now.

"I am not blushing you are." He retorts. I'm starting to get really annoyed by Logan

"Yes you are." I say while Logan shacks his head 'no'.

"Whatever I'm leavening any ways." I say while I finish putting on my clothes, I can feel Logan staring at me it's kind of creeping me out. Why is he just standing there watching me.

"Why are you staring at me?" I ask awkwardly as I see him starting to blush again and look away.

"I wasn't I just spaced out." He said I looked at him and shrugged but I knew he was lying. I walk out of the room thinking. 'Why was he staring at me' and out of the apartment going to the elevator, heading to the pool. I flop down on one of the chairs by the pool still thinking about what just happened in the apartment and how awkward it was. 'I think he might love me like I love him 'I thought 'nobody will love me I'm stupid, reckless, ugly and Logan's not even gay not even my parents love me'

I start to cry but I hold back the tears but it doesn't work and I eventually cry myself to sleep on the chair by the pool. 'What I don't get is that nobody sees me crying, see nobody cares about you, you're worthless you're just a waist of space' I thought before I finally fell in to a deep restless sleep.

**LOGAN POV**

I watch as Carlos left, I can't believe I froze up like that, but seeing him so exposed turned me on so much I couldn't fathom to think of any words to say. I think I really like Carlos but I think it's more than a crush I think I actually do love him but the way he just bolted out the door, I know that he will never like me I'm a nerd and weak and he's not even gay. I need to talk to someone about this. 'Where is Kendall' I thought as I left my room. "Damn he's not in the apartment I should just text him." I said out of frustration, I text Kendall, _hey Kendall where you at we need to talk-L_, a minute later I feel my phone start vibrating 1 new message for Kendall. _At the palm woods park-K_, I text back like the speed of light _hey stay there I'll be there in a minute to talk its important-L. _And with that, I ran out the door as fast as I could, taking the stairs and going through the lobby where Bitters is yelling at me saying "don't run in the lobby!" I didn't care at that moment I needed to get to Kendall and tell him. I finally made it to the park I see Kendall sitting on a bench I go and sit next to him he looks up with a confused face. I sigh and he starts to talk.

"Hey what's wrong?" He asks with his eyebrow's raised up looking at me confused and worried

"Nothing's wrong, I just needed to talk to you about something." I say while looking down ashamed of what I'm about to say, I hope he doesn't flip out or call me names maybe I shouldn't do this? He looks at me questionable.

"Ok what do you want to talk to me about, you know you can tell me anything right?" He said while looking at me, I looked anywhere but his eyes.

"I'm gay." I blurt out not meeting his eyes while he just stars at me thinking, the anticipation is killing me but he finally talk.

"Oh is that it? I thought something was wrong." he said while I was in shock and looking at his face trying to read it. Seems like he's not lying I hope.

"Wait what you're not mad or disgusted with me?" I asked in disbelief.

"No why would I be your still LOGAN aren't you, it doesn't matter if you like guys instead of girls….so is there a lucky somebody you like?" He said 'omg now I feel more nervous than before' I think to myself as Kendall starts to speak again.

"Is it Carlos?" Kendall asks, I tense up and look at the ground.

"OMG, IT IS CARLOS! YOU LIKE CARLOS!" He practically screams so that everyone in the park can hear.

"SHUT UP KENDALL KNIGHT!" I yelled while I punch his arm.

"OW what was that for?" He asks as I stare at him with an "are-you-serious" look.

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell." He said in an apologetic way.

"It's okay, just please don't tell anyone….please. I will tell them when I'm ready okay." I said while getting up to leave I turn around and say, "I'll see you back at the apartment." He just said "okay." And with that I took my leave.

Back in the lobby I see Camille I say "Hey." But she just slaps me across the face and pulls me in for a kiss, and as always I just stand there shocked. Then she just leaves without saying a word and I just stand there for a minute then I just decide to head up to my room and go to sleep. I'm trying to go to sleep but I can't stop thinking of Carlos, 'what should I do, tell him and it might ruin our friendship or don't tell him and I'll probably go insane. I don't know what to do.' I thought before I fall asleep.

**CARLOS POV**

I woke up on a chair by the pool, I'm all sweaty and sticky 'that was the worst dream very.' I thought to myself as I sit up and something catches my attention in the lobby, it Logan and Camille, KISSING, omfg I knew he wasn't gay then I see Camille walk away and Logan walk to the elevator to go to the apartment so I decide to stay here and try to remember my dream.

*CARLOS DREAM*

* I walk in the apartment and go to my room, as I open the door I see Logan sitting there at his desk working on homework, or whatever he does. So I go sit on my bed and sigh heavily for a good reason I think this is the perfect time to tell Logan how I feel….

"Hey Logan what are you doing?" I ask to break the silence in the room.

"I'm doing chemistry homework that you should be doing to." He says not even looking up from his work.

"Oh….um…..I need to talk to you Logan, it's really important." I said looking at my shoes. I can tell he is staring at me but I don't look up.

"Okay what do you want to talk about Carlos? " He asks very calmly as usual.

"Um…..I..I..Um…" I said trailing off trying to figure out how to tell him my feelings.

"Carlos just spit it out. " He said as he started to become frustrated.

"IthinkImightbeinlovewithyou!" I said super-fast so he wouldn't understand what I had just said.

"What did you say?" He asks in udder shock.

I sigh and say, "I think I might be in love with you. Do you hate me for feeling this way?" And not even making eye contact with him, he takes a deep breath and starts to yell "You're a fuckin fagot, your fuckin gay get the fuck out of here you fuckin fagot. I'm not fuckin gay!" He grabs me by the shirt and throws me against the wall and starts to throw punches, and now Kendall and James are in the room yelling at me calling me names and hitting me*END OF DREAM*

That's when I woke up I didn't realizes I was crying so I run in to the apartment and lock myself in the bathroom. 'I should be better off dead nobody cares about me nobody loves me I'm worthless.' I thought to myself looking at the razor blade thinking if this is a good idea, but my mind just keeps telling me to do it. So I take the razor blade and press it to my wrist I move it slightly and I start it wince in pain but it feels so good. I make four more cuts and rinse of my wrist, bandage it up and put my sweater on and I exit the bathroom and go sit on the couch watching SpongeBob Squarepants.

**LOGAN POV**

Carlos came out of the bathroom unknowingly tugging at the sleeve of his sweeter he wore to cover up the cuts. He feared going to his room that he shared with Logan, so he changed directions and went into to the living room of said apartment. Ms. Knight walked through the door holding a basket of food; she saw Carlos and lightly tilted her head to the side as her mama sense was tingling. She set the food down and walked over to Carlos. "Carlos sweetie is something the matter?" She questioned as she sat down next to the upset Latino. Carlos looked up at her and then back down to the floor. 'What will Ms. Knight think of me if I tell her what I really am…will she still accept me as me or….will she…'Carlos shuddered at the remembrance of his nightmare.

"No Ms. Knight there is nothing wrong at all. Everything is fine." He lied to her, he hated lying to her or anyone, but he did not want to be abounded by a person who had become a mother figure in his life.

"Well Carlos, if you want to talk to me about anything I am right here. Please remember that." She said as she got up and went to her domain in the kitchen and started to put food away. She was worried about Carlos and took him in when no one else would, well that's only because her son and friends begged her.

In the next room, which would be the room Carlos and I shared I heard everything. I shook my head, something is very wrong with him; I mean he's not acting like his usual hyper crazed self. I sighed as I thought about the kiss from Camille and wished that Carlos would do the same to me. 'Well without the slapping part. I could deal with out that, it hurts like hell' I thought to myself as I rubbed my check, she is one crazy chick as the guys would say. I looked over at the spot where Carlos stood nude and started to fantasize about the things I could have done to that body, kissing him from head to toe, and then rubbing lotion over that tan body making sure I get every inch of his body and then paying special attrition to….the door to my shared room opened and in the door way stood Carlos looking sad.

I stood up out of my chair and walked over to him as he closed the door and sat down at the foot of his bed. "Carlos, what's the matter with you? You are never this down…..then again you are never really ever down." I asked with concern lining my voice, the four of us have been friends for like forever so we know the other is lying or telling the truth.

"It's nothing Logan." He said to me as though trying to wave the subject away.

"Carlos, I'm your friend, and I'm worried about you. Please you can trust me with anything you know that. So don't sit there and tell me it's nothing." I responded back to him. I was hurt that he didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on.

"I….I just had a bad dream is all. Nothing to get all worked up over." He retorted back to me as he stood up to leave our shared room. "Coming in here was a mistake." I heard him say, I believe it meant for it to be mostly to himself and not to anyone in the room. I couldn't let it end this way, so I grabbed his wrist and hard him cry out in pain, I let go and he held his wrist to his chest in pain and when I looked at his face I noticed that his eyes started to water.

"Carlos….you didn't?" I asked in an almost disbelief, had his problem really become that much that he couldn't came to one of us, his friends….was he really hurting that bad over some nightmare that he had. I couldn't seem to wrap my head around what was going on right now, and I think I was having a mental break down at seeing the person who I love the most hurt and in pain. I wanted to know what had made him go this far.

"Carlos….." I lightly said with sadness in my tone and I knew he felt and heard it there as his expression changed from pain and sadness to just plan sadness.

"I'm going out." And with that my love left out of the door with what I think were tears in his eyes. What the hell is going on? I watch him as he runs out of the room like I have the black plague and he keeps running he leaves the apartment, I was just standing there in our room wondering what just happened? I wonder where he's going I hope nothing happens to him.' fuck I should have ran after him I don't know what I would do if something happened to him' I thought sadly falling back in to bed not being able to sleep just up waiting and thinking of Carlos. I can feel tears coming on I don't care at the moment I just let them fall freely from my eyes.

**CARLOS POV**

I just ran out of the apartment think 'OMG HE knows what I was doing' the tears just keep falling from my eyes they won't stop my vision is blurred I finally stop and wipe my eyes and look around I have no idea where the hell I am… 'I wish I didn't leave the apartment' I thought to myself, "fuck I don't have my cell phone on me" I said out of frustration. I start to walk in the direction I think is the way back home. As I was walking someone grabs me and pulls me in to an alley he has a knife at my throat he said "scream and I will kill you, you got that kid" I just nodded because I'm to scared to come up with the words.. But finally I say "w…w…what are you going to do to me…please don't hurt me please….please" my voice sounded scratchy and I could hear my voice crack, he say "you'll just have to wait and see" with an evil grin. He puts his hand around my neck chocking me 'omg this is the end for me I didn't even tell Logan how I felt' I thought sadly begging to cry I notice my vision was becoming blurry do to the lack of oxygen and I finally blacked out.

I wake up slowly hoping all that was a dream but no it wasn't, I look around I'm not in the alley anymore I'm in a white room on a bed I think I'm in the hospital "how the hell did I get here" said out loud kind of confused. Then suddenly I hear someone say "oh your awake good, how are you feeling" I jump about ten fight in the air all most falling of the bed buy I say "o….okay um…were am I and how did I get here" I ask staring at her confused "you're at Hollywood general hospital and an ambulance brought you here" she says in a sympathetic tone I just nodded at what she said "do you know why you're here" she said I simply say "yes" then I ask "when I can leave" she looks at me and says "not in tell tomorrow sorry kid" "thank you, is there a phone I can use" I said she simply nodes and shows me where the phone is, then she walks out without saying another word I pick up the phone and start to call Mrs. Knight. the phone stars to ring and then another ring and someone picks up.

"Hello" says

"Hello Mama knight its Carlos" I say in a scared voice I can hear her sigh over the phone

"Oh my Carlos where have you been, are you ok we have been worried sick" she says in a worried voice

"Oh I'm fine known "I say kind of scared if I should tell her what happened.

"Okay sweetie where are you" she says kind of relived I'm fine but I am anything buy fine I take a deep shaky breath.

"I'm at Hollywood general hospital"

"oh sweetie we will be there in a Minute "she says very sweetly like usual then she hung up I breath a sign of relief that she didn't ask why I was in the hospital I can't tell anybody it's to humiliating


	2. Deaths Grip

**Chapter 2**

**LOGAN POV**

I was sitting on the bright orange couch with the TV on not really paying attention to it, just sitting there worrying about Carlos wondering where he is, if he is ok.' Omg what if something happened to him I would not be able to live with myself….'I was broken out of thought by the phone ringing, Ms. Knight answered it. I jump up from the couch when she says its Carlos, after she hung up she didn't look happy

So I ask Ms. Knight "what happened, is Carlos ok"

She looks at me sadly and says "I don't know what happened but he's at the hospital"

my heart stops when she says this I'm about to cry," OMG WE HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW." I yell trying to hold back the tears, running to grab the keys and running out of the apartment to the car Ms. Knight right behind me, she crabbed the keys from me saying. "You're too emotional." I couldn't even argue because I was crying to hard, we got in the car and I was able to stop crying when we pulled up to the hospital, I didn't even wait for the car to stop I open the door and ran inside of the hospital asking the nurse at the front desk for the room Carlos Garcia was in.

She looked at me asking if I was family. I lied and told her I was his brother and then corrected myself and said step brother; Ms. Knight was right behind me while I was talking to the receptionist. Looking at me skeptically, she told me what room Carlos occupied and then pointed down the hall.

"Thank you." I said and ran down the hall reading off the numbers of the rooms until I reached room 109. I stop at his door not being able to enter the room I could feel a hand on my shoulder, turning around to see Ms. Knight standing there. She looked just as worried as I was but was somehow able to keep her cool.

"Everything is going to be alright. Carlos is going to be okay." She told me in her motherly tone as I just nodded my head. She opens the door to his room I let her go first because I am too nervous of what I may see. As I slowly took a step into the plane white room with no decoration, I could see Carlos lying there in his bed covered in bandages. Ms. Knight went to the side of his bed and placed a gentle hand over his, she told him something that I couldn't hear but whatever it was he soon looked up at me with what a feared expression on.

"Hi." He said in a sad and scared tone that matched his expression. My heart started to break when he says that I don't know why, but I race over to his bedside and attack him in a bear hug. I heard him wince in pain, causing me to jump back in a blink of an eye. I ask if he's okay he tells me yes as some stray tears fall from his eyes.

"Carlos sweetie, what happened?" Ms. Knight asks in a caring and soft voice.

"No I….I can't….I…" Carlos told us as he violently shook his head.

"Carlos you know you can tell us anything right, right?" I almost start to cry when he looks up at me, he doesn't look like his happy-go-lucky self anymore instead he looks miserable.

"I…I..I know but not right now okay, I'm just not ready yet." He says sadly, I try to hold back the tears when he says that. He sounds so miserable and I can't do anything to help, so I sit down on one of the chairs in the room by his bedside.

"Okay sweetheart you don't have to tell us right now." Ms. Knight said in her usual caring voice but she sounded a little sad to. "I'm going to call Kendall and James and tell them what happened okay. I'll be back in a moment." She told us while walking out of the room, I make sure she's all the way out of the room and I hear the door click shut before I decide to speak up.

"So um when do you get to leave?" I ask avoiding eye contact.

"Tomorrow." He said quietly to the point where I almost didn't hear him.

"Oh….okay so are you going to tell me what happened?" I ask nervously as ever and as innocent as I could while looking up at him. He still won't make eye contact with me, he was about to say something when the door opened, I sigh madly when Ms. Knight walks in.

"Kendall and James really want to come visit you but I told them you were coming back tomorrow so they will come then." She explains slowly while walking over to Carlos's bedside, she looks at me then at Carlos for a response but we didn't say anything.

"Well…..Carlos, we better get going, do you need anything before we leave?" Ms. Knight asks as she leans down to kiss Carlos's forehead.

Carlos looks up at her and says. "No thank Ms. Knight."

"Okay then, bye Carlos, see you tomorrow." She told him, than looks over at me and starts to walk over to the door, I get up slowly making my way to the door not saying anything to Carlos as I exit the room, I stop right outside the room looking at Ms. Knight, she's about to say something but I cut her off before she does.

"MS. Knight, can I stay the night with Carlos tonight. Please?" I basically beg her as I could feel my eyes begin to water up again.

"Sure sweetie, do you need anything before I go?" She asks as she took me into a hug, but I could hear the concern in her voice.

"No thank you." I tell her as I gave her a hug back. I let go and took a hold of the door knob to Carlos's room. I took a deep breath, opening the door slowly just in case he has fallen asleep but when I enter the room he's not in his bed. 'Where is he?' I thought to myself, so I check the bathroom and to my surprise the door isn't closed. And in that moment I had wished it was I wished I had gone back with Ms. Knight to go hang out with the guys mess around waiting for Carlos to be released from the hospital. What I am looking at not only broke my heart, but it also shattered my world. And then at the worst possible time my phone went off with the city is ours song.

**CARLOS POV**

I watch as they leave the room, I wonder why Logan didn't say anything before he left, he didn't even say goodbye. 'See he doesn't care about you.' I thought to myself sadly, I'm about to cry but I hold back the tears and get up from this bland white bed and make my way to the bathroom, I leave the door open not worried if someone comes in. I stare at myself in the mirror looking at myself in distaste, 'your worthless you don't deserve to live, just kill yourself already nobody's going to care if you die everybody hates you.' My thoughts went on as I try to shake them away but nothing works, looking around the bathroom trying to find something to make the pain go away, I look under the sink and find a razor blade, I grab it and look up in the mirror again debating if I should do this. I lost that mental battle and I put the blade to my wrist and made a cut and did four more, 'aw this feels so good, I can't feel the emotional pain anymore.' I thought to myself turning on the sink about to rinse my wrist off but then I decide to make one more cut, I put the blade to my wrist about to cut it again but I hear a phone go off, I turn around way to fast accidently cutting my wrist deeper than intended as I cry out in pain. I see Logan standing there in the doorway shocked, 'omg what am I going to tell him.' I thought to myself as the pain in my wrist continues unbearable, my vision starts to become blurry and blotchy , I can feel deaths cold grip on me pulling me in to the darkness, and I can hear Logan calling my name. I try to respond but nothing came out I collapse on the floor fading into the darkness, the last thing I hear is Logan calling for a doctor before I'm completely engulfed in darkness, I don't feel any pain anymore and it feels so good.

**Logan POV**

'What the fuck was that, I mean I know that he was….but to go this far. Damn it Carlos what are you thinking?' I shouted to myself punching a nearby wall out of anger and self-loathing because the one person on this fricken world I love just tried to kill himself and he won't even try and let me help him. "Fuck." I said aloud as a family passed by with disappointed looks, I don't care at this point hell I don't care about anything other than hearing that Carlos will be fine. I see a doctor come out and walk over to me and he told me that Carlos will be fine and luckily for him it was not that deep, I let out the breath that I was holding in which I didn't realize it until that moment.

"Thank you, doctor. Is it alright if I go see him?" I ask in a soft tone.

"Go right on and do so. Oh and there is something else you may want to know, Carlos was mumbling in his sleep about not being accepted by the group." The doctor said to me confusion written on his face; he then just shook his head and went on to the next visitor. I too was confused as why Carlos would say something like that, but as I walk over to room and enter it I no longer cared about the question. I see that Carlos is awake and I rush over to his side.

"Hey." I said timidly.

"HI." Carlos retorts back a little angry.

"Carlos, please don't be mad at me. I just wanted to stay the night with you, and make sure you would be okay….is that so wrong?" I said at first then let it turn to sadness; life would suck if Carlos was mad at me.

"You….you wanted to stay the night with me?" He repeats with a blush that was very vivid on his pale face.

"Yes." I told him as I to blushed causing me to turn and hid my face from him.

"You're not going to yell at me?" He asks me like he was expecting it.

"I'll wait until you are ready to tell me what is going on to." I told him with a smile looking back at him playfully punching him in his good arm and then let my hand rest over his. After a few moments of not noticing my hand there I quickly pulled it back into my lap and blushed again avoiding eye contact again. We sit there in comfortable silence for a while in tell we both end up drifting off to sleep.

I wake up first, I have to blink a couple of time to readjust my eye to the blinding sun pouring in throw the window eliminating the plane white room, I look over to see Carlos still sleeping and slightly snoring, 'He's so cute when he's sleeping.' I thought to myself and wondering why Carlos would try to kill himself. He starts to open his eyes slowly, I just stare at him for a minute before I speak up.

"Good morning sleepy head." I say to him as I'm wondering what the doctor told me yesterday, why would we not accept him?

"Morning." He says in a groggy voice while rubbing the sleep from his eyes. I just can't help but smile at him but then I remember where we are at and frown at the situation.

"Um…the doctor told me something last night." I say looking anywhere but his eyes but I can see the confused expression on his face.

"What did he say?" he says in a confused and worried voice

"He said you where mumbling stuff while you were asleep." I say looking at him for some kind of response what never came so I keep going... .." He said that you were mumbling that you wouldn't be accepted by the group, what is that supposed to mean Carlos?" I question him curiosity and worry line my voice, looking in his usually innocent eyes but they have been replace with scared and confused eyes. 'I wonder what he is hiding from me.' I thought to myself waiting for Carlos to answer.

"I.I..I have no idea what you're talking about Logan." He shudders but he sounds a little pissed off and sad.. 'why would he be sad' I wonder to myself looking at him kind of confused. Then all of the sudden my phone goes off, I pick it up one new message for Kendall. _Hey James and I are going to be there in a little bit with my mom and Katie-K _I text back slowly not wanting them to come. _Okay see you soon-L_ , I put my phone back in my pocket and look up at Carlos he's just siting there staring at me, we lock eyes for a second.

"Who was that?" Carlos asks as he looks away from me.

"That was Kendall saying they will be here in a little." I say kind of sad that I don't get that much more time to talk to him and find out what happened. After I say that we just sit in silence for a while before the door to the room comes flying open and standing there is a worried Kendall and a scared James. They sigh in relief that Carlos is okay for what they can see but I know he is anything but Okay. I look between both of them waiting for one of them to say something but nobody says anything for awhile, I was about to say something but the door opened again and in walks Ms. Knight and Katie well Katie runs to Carlos bedside and attacks him in a hug and whispers something in his ear and he whispers back and with that she lets go and sits down while everybody else just stands there awkwardly.

**CARLOS POV**

When I found out that Kendall said that he will be here with everybody in a little I got kind of worried because I don't want to tell them what happened I was broken out of thought but Kendall and James coming in the room not saying anything but I can see the worried and scared expressions on their faces after a couple of seconds when I see Logan about to speak but just then the door opens again and Ms. Knight and Katie comes in, Katie runs over to me a gives be a bone crushing hug and whispers in my ear tell me to never scare her like that again I tell her okay I promise I won't she lets go of me and sits down, everybody is looking at me I start feel awkward that nobody is saying anything but Ms. Knight starts to speak up.

"Hey sweetie how are you feeling?" She asks in concerned voice.

"I'm doing better today um…what time can I leave." I ask not wanting to be in this dreadful place any longer

"I'll go see right now sweetie" she says sweetly I just nod as she left with Katie to find out when I can leave I look at Kendall and James who still haven't said anything since entering the room then, 'I wonder why they haven't said anything yet.' I thought as I turn to look at Logan he looks back at me and shrugs, 'I think he knows what I was thinking.' So I decide to speak up first I look back at the other two and say, "So…anything new happened at the palm woods?" I ask kind of nerves looking at them for a response even how ridicules the question.

"No," They say in unison.

"Okay?" I say and the room goes silent again for a couple of seconds before my stomach rumbles loudly and brakes the awkward silences and I blush slightly, I hear everybody chuckle.

"Looks like someone's hungry." Logan said as he starts to stand up I look at him confused.

"Yea…um where are you going Logie?" I say in a whine.

"I'm going to get you something to eat." He told me in a playful tone.

"No don't….I..I..I mean I'm about to leave, we can just go out and get something." I say while blushing. He looks at me funny and blushes to and nods his head as he sits back down, then the door opens and Ms. Knight is standing there.

"Okay everybody we can leave now, you ready Carlos?" She asks in a motherly tone but it also sounded a little bit sad. I just shrugged it off and stood up to leave the room and we start to walk down the hall to leaving the hospital finally.


	3. Rejection

**Kendall P.O.V**

After we left the hospital we went over to the Palm Woods wherever one put together a huge party for Carlos. And me, James, and the others took care of Bitters, as we arrived the girls came over to us.

"Hey Jo." I said as she walked over to me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Hey. And hey Carlos, I hope you're feeling better." Jo told Carlos as she gave him a hug at his return.

"I'm glad you're back, you know the Palm Woods hasn't been the same for the two days you weren't here." Camille said giving Carlos a hug after Jo.

"Thanks guys, really." Carlos said with a shy smile. "I didn't mean to make everyone worry. But hey it's a party, let's get it started!" He yelled the last part with a fist in the air, and then he soon walked off with the girls. I looked over at Logan who was watching Carlos walk off with a sad expression.

"What's wrong Logan?" I asked him putting an arm around his shoulder.

"Nothing, hey let's get our party on" Logan said brushing off the subject.

"Yeah Kendall." I hard James's voice sound from the other side of me, I had actually forgotten that the pretty boy was there. I think that we are all feeling the same about Carlos and how he even ended up in the hospital. Then we looked up and saw Carlos with his stupid helmet on as he got ready to do a cannon ball into the pool. As he made impact with the water, the Jennifer's yelled out in a mix of surprise and anger as they get wet, whereas everyone else was just laughing.

"Hey guys, come on in. The water's fine!" He called out to us once his head was above water with a smile on.

"Well guys." I started as I put my arms around James and Logan's shoulders. "What the hell are we waiting for?" I said running ahead of them taking my shirt off in the process. And then soon after I jumped in Logan and James jumped in on either side of me. We were all laughing and having a good time. My mom made food for all of us, even Bitters was having a good time I had no clue he got out. Around 11 p.m. or so everyone went back to their rooms including us guys.

"Dudes that party was so fricken, awesome!" Carlos said to me and James as we walked into the room. We all laughed and then I realized that Logan was missing.

"Hey, has anyone seen Logan?" I asked looking around the room that we all called home.

"Nope." James said.

"Same here." I heard Carlos say.

"I'll go look outside. You two stay here in case he comes back." I order to them as I leave the room. I took a quick look at Carlos and saw worry in his eyes as I close the door. I run down the hall and then make my way to the pool where I see Logan sitting on a chair looking deep in thought. I slowly walk over to him and take a seat next to him.

"Hey Logan, what's up?" I ask him in a kind voice.

"Oh, hey Kendall, nothing just thinking." He says in a low voice.

"Look buddy, I know you're worried about Carlos and how he got into the hospital. But he's out and fine and having fun." I say to him not knowing really what else to say to him.

"That's…that's not it Kendall. It's something else." Logan tells me as he rubs his arm.

"Logan, what happened?"

"I….I can't tell you. I promised Carlos."

"I know you have a crush on him and all, but if it'll save him then you must tell me." I tell Logan who keeps rubbing his arm. Little did we both know, was that said boy we were talking about wasn't too far off listening to us.

**James P.O.V.**

"So Carlos buddy, it's good to have you back." I say as I come out of my shared room with a towel around my shoulders, and not seeing anyone other than Ms. Knight and Katie.

"James, Carlos went out for a while. Said that he was going to look for Kendall." Ms. Knight tells me as she looks up from her spot in the kitchen.

"Thanks Ms. Knight." I thank her as I run out of the room in my pajama pants. 'What the hell Carlos? Don't you ever use your head that's protected by that helmet of yours?' I ask myself as I found said person with his back against a wall and a hand over his heart. I rush over to him not knowing what was wrong until I heard Kendalls voice talking to Logan. "Carlos how much did you hear?" I ask in a whisper tone.

"Everything." He says to me with a faint blush on his face. I put his arm around my shoulder and help him back to the room for safe keeping. The last thing I needed was to have Kendall yell at me for letting Carlos out of my sight, well excuse me for wanting to be clean for him. I shook my head as I got Carlos back into the room and then went and laid him down in his own bed.

"You want me to stay here until Logan and Kendall come back?" I ask.

"No, I have an idea. Wanna play some video games?" He asks me as he stands up and walked over to the closet and pulls on a fresh long sleeve top and pants.

"What the hell, why not." I say as he turns to me, I put an arm around his shoulder and he puts one around mine. We laugh as we exit the room just as Kendall and Logan come walking back in.

"Welcome back boys." Ms. Knight greets them with her loving smile. We all smile back at her as I felt Carlos stumble back with Katie hugging him.

"You can't hide it from me." Was all she said, and somehow those words seemed to trigger something inside of Carlos for he broke down crying as he hugged Katie back. After a few more moments for both Katie and Carlos they calmed down and sat on the couch with all of us following them, Carlos took a deep breath and told us everything that had happened. How Logan found out that he cut himself to why he ended up in the hospital. I don't know what is worse, finding out that Carlos would go as far as cutting himself because we wouldn't accept him for him, or finding out that he was rapped. Ms. Knight sat down on the other side of Carlos and rubbed his back.

"Sweetie, you are a part of this family. And as such you should know that we will accept you no matter what sex you like, or anything like that." Ms. Knight told him as she gave him a hug, as did Katie. Kendall walked over to him and gave him a light punch in the arm.

"That's for thinking so low of us." He says as he gave Carlos a hug. "And this is for being alive."

"Yeah, same here buddy. I don't care if you liked some alien race; you're still my best bud." I say to him with a smile. We all looked over at Logan who had on a smile when he heard that Carlos was bisexual, but then it turned into anger at hearing Carlos was rapped.

"You know you can always trust us with anything, I'm just happy that you're alright." Logan said with a smile.

**CARLOS POV**

After telling everybody what has happened to me I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me, it feels so good that they don't think any less of me and they won't hurt me like what happened before, I try to shake those memories away it seems to have worked for now but I know that those memories will never leave. We all decide to turn in for the night; we all retreat to our respected rooms. Me and Logan enter our room, I walk over to my bed deciding to just go to sleep, I'm just lying there staring at the ceiling thinking of what has happened, I get broken out of thought by someone whimpering I look over at Logan who is asleep and crying I jump up running to his bedside trying to wake him I can hear him mumbling stuff all I could make out was, 'Carlos….no Carlos don't.' Logan said in his sleep I start to shake him awake but nothing…

"Logan wake up….please wake up." I said in a sad tone but still no response. "LOGAN WAKE UP!" I yell at him while shaking him and surprisingly it work. He springs up from his bed looking at me with a worried expression.

"Carlos what's wrong are you okay?" He said in a groggy and worried tone I look up at him with tears in my eyes I wipe them away before I decide to speak.

"I…I…I should be asking you that." I said stuttering he looks at me confused.

"Why should you be asking me that? You're the one who woke me up." He says getting frustrated I look him in the eyes.

"I woke you up because you were whimpering and saying stuff and crying in your sleep." I say getting aggravated

"W…W…What are you talking about Carlos?" He asks.

"I'm talking about you saying, and I quote, 'Carlos…no Carlos don't.' And you trailed off there. So tell me what you were dreaming about?" I ask him in a worried tone he looks at my with his sadness filled eyes.

"Fine….I was dreaming that you killed yourself…..and I couldn't do anything to stop you." He said while he was trying to hold back sobs, I pull him in to a hug and whisper in his ear.

"Logan you don't have to worry I will never leave you, I won't kill myself I promise and when I promise something I never brake a promise." I said softly in his ear while rubbing his back he looks me in the eyes.

"You promise?" He asks ever so softly wiping the tears from his eye I just nod my head .

"Do you want me to sleep with you tonight?" I say looking down at him. He shakes his head yes, so I get into his bed and he lays his head on my chest. I have one arm wrapped around him I look down at him smiling.

"Goodnight Logie."

"Goodnight Carlos." He says before drifting off to sleep, 'I wish we could stay like this forever.' I thought to myself looking at him.

"I love you Logan not like a friend I wish we could be more then friends but I know you just think of me as a friend." I say softly knowing that I just had to get that off of my chest. And then say it out loud even though he didn't hear me, I feel him move. 'Omg he wasn't asleep.' I yelled at myself as his eyes shot open while trying to get off of me he got out of the bed and looked at me like I am crazy. 'Omg what have I done?' I thought to myself sadly I look down not looking at him.

"What did you say Carlos?" He asks coldly.

"N…N….Nothing." I said slowly trying to hold back the tears I start to get up but he push me back down on the bed I look at him kind of confused.

"No you're staying here until you tell me what you said." He ordered me.

"I…I…I didn't say anything, I have no idea what you are talking about Logan." I whisper yell at him as I try to get free.

**LOGAN POV**

After Carlos asked me if I wanted him to sleep with me I just nodded my head yes and he got in bed with me, with my head on his chest. After a while I was about to fall asleep when I heard Carlos whispering that he loved me more than a friend, I felt so happy but something inside of me told me this is wrong. I can't love him and he can't love me it's wrong, I'm suppose to love girls not my best friend who is a guy. I started feeling angry with him and myself. After he said that, he didn't say anything else. So I held him down to make him tell me what he had said, although I already know what he said.

"Carlos, you love me?" I question him.

"N…N….No…..…I mean yes. Okay I do love you….do you love me?" He said looking very uneasily. I let go of him a sat there speechless for a moment, I know that I love him but why can't I just say it. He already told me he loves me and I know that everybody well be okay with us but what about the fans and the band what will my parents think and Gustavo and Kelly, I don't want us being together to destroy everything we have been working for. 'UGH why does this have to be so complicated?' I thought to myself debating if I should tell him I love him or tell him I just want to be friends. I sigh heavily before I start to speak.

"Carlos I do love you….." I said as I started to tail off, and look at Carlos. I can see how his face lit up when I said that, hopefully he's not to upset when I tell him that we can't be together. "But we can't be together Carlos. I'm sorry, I really am, but I just want to be friends….are you okay?" I slowly rejected him as I could hear my own voice shake with emotions as I saw his face fall with sadness, hurt and confusion. But sadness filled eyes.

"O…O...Okay, well I'm going to go to bed now… On the couch." He tells me sadly while standing up to leave I was about to say something but he was already out the door. I decide to lay back down and try to get some sleep. 'Why do I have to be so stupid? I could have just told him yes I do love him and we can be more then friends, but NO!' I thought angrily to myself as I drift off to sleep.

**NO POV**

As Logan drifted off to sleep,he couldn't help but think of carlos and what he just did. Carlos was in the other room sitting on the couch contemplating what just happened, he thought to himself saying he is worthless nobody will ever love him after thinking that Carlos made his way to the bathroom, he stood there just looking at himself in the mirror with a razor in one hand thinking if he should do this again, after all he promised Logan he wouldn't kill himself. He never promised to stop cutting, so he decided on cutting about three cuts on each wrist before exiting the bathroom and sitting on the couch just sitting there thinking what is wrong with him. His own parents never loved him he sighs sadly trying to shake those memories away again but it didn't work this time. He started to have a flash back when his so called parents disowned him and beat him... nobody ever knew why Carlos's parents beat him and disowned him. But the other three boys didn't care why the just had to stop it and that's what they did they even had Ms. Knight Take custody of him after Carlos's parents went to jail, Ms. Knight was uneasy at first but with all the bagging from Logan, Kendall, James and even Katie she agreed to let him live with them but for Carlos he felt like he was out of place, and he felt alone even when everybody was around him. Now Ms. Knight thinks of Carlos as her own son and she thinks this about the other two as well, but she feels like there some thing that Carlos isn't tell her or anybody for that fact.

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><p><strong>Hopefully you guys like where im taking the story. more chapters soon to come also working on another story will post it soon tell me what you guys think of this story so far thanks.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**CARLOS POV**

As I exit the bedroom knowing full well Logan only loves me as a friend nothing more, I started to doubt that anyone could love me, so I found myself walking to the bathroom. I just stared at myself thinking if I should do this again, 'well I promised Logan I wouldn't kill myself, but I never promised I would stop cutting.' I thought finding a loophole in the promise I made him, 'he wouldn't care anyways, he doesn't love me, nobody would.' I told myself sadly as I dragged the razor across my wrist three times on both of them. The pain made me fell alive it made the emotional pain go away but not for long. As I proceeded to exit the bathroom I made my way to the couch to go to sleep, as I laid there trying to go to sleep but I couldn't my mind was swimming with so many thoughts, tonight has brought back so many memories but only one popped out. I tried to shack these thoughts away but it didn't work this time. I still remember what happened very vividly.

***Flashback***

I woke up like every other day, but something about that day felt different, well it could be because I'm going to tell my parents that I like guys not girl. Hopefully they take it well 'they will still love me.' I thought to motivate myself. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and to hopefully calm my nerves. After the shower I got dressed and made my way to the kitchen to get breakfast, I see my parents sitting there. 'Now or never' I thought to myself nervously.

"Papá, mamá, tengo que hablar con usted."(Dad, mom, I need to talk to you) I said not making eye contact, but I can feel them looking at me.

"¿Qué es hijo?"(What is it son) My dad said in a concerned tone. I looked at both of my parents and they gave me a warming smile, 'I know they'll still love me know matter what' I thought growing very confident. "Soy gay."(I'm gay) I said slowly as I could feel myself becoming very nervous. Then the silence didn't help. I looked at their face for any reaction, I saw my dad's face turn a bright angry red and my mom looked like she was going to faint.

"Ningún hijo mío será homosexual, incluso si tengo que batir de te. No puedo aceptar esto."(No son of mine will be gay, even if I have to beat it out of you. I can't accept this) He yelled at me, as he got out of his chair and punched me across the face. I fell to the ground holding my cheek and then I tasted something metallic. 'I can't believe he just did that.' I thought as I saw blood on my hands and tears started falling from my eyes.

"Aiya que está de acuerdo con su padre. Que ser gay es inaceptable, por lo que los vecinos pensamos... o decir." (I have to agree with your father, to be gay is unacceptable, what will people think…or say)My mom finally said, not doing anything as she stood up next to my dad. I saw the look of disappointment in their eyes; I felt my world flip upside down. It felt like something was piercing right through my heart, I cried even harder. Only to find that I could no longer breathe as my dad kicked me square in the chest, I found myself looking up at my parents as I was on my back trying to catch my breath. I couldn't believe what was going on…..they were my parents they loved me…..how could this…..I started crying again out of pure confusion.

"Detener ese llanto y hombre! No le gustan a otros hombres, te gusta chicas y yo estaré maldito si no puedo solucionar esta fase aunque vas."(Stop that crying and man up! No! you will not like men, you will like girls I'll be damned if I cannot fix this stage you are going through) My dad yelled at me as he picked me up off the ground by my collar. He shook me with such force that I got dizzy, not that he noticed he was too busy telling me to be straight.

As I finally was able to catch my breath, I made my way back to my room to go to sleep even though it is only noon I just feel like sleeping for the rest of my life. 'Tomorrow will be better' I thought to myself actually hoping thing would get better as I drifted off to sleep.

***End Flashback***

I was broken out of my memory by someone touching, I jumped up ten feet in the air, only to look over to see James sitting there staring at me wide-eyed, I was relived it was him, as I sat back down he started rubbing my back.

"Hey buddy, you okay?" He asked in a worried tone. I look at him and just simply nod a yes. "Are you sure?" He asked again in a more worried and demanding tone, all I could do at this point is nod my head. "If you're okay then why were you crying?" James said, as I shift in my seat nervously, trying not to look at him.

"I…I…I wasn't crying." I said defectively. As I get up to go to my room which I really don't want to go in there and see Logan, but I was roughly pushed back down.

"Tell me what's wrong Carlos." He demanded. I sighed heavily debating if I should tell him why I'm crying or not.

"Okay fine I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone." I sighed. "I accidentally told Logan that I'm in love with him." I said in a defeated tone as I looked down at the ground. James was about to say something as I started talking again. "And he said he just wanted to be friends so I came out here to sleep on the couch, I started to have a flash back of when my parents used to beat me." I said as tears started falling from my eyes.

"It's going to be okay, your parents can't hurt you anymore. And Logan is a better person than that, you will find someone better." He said, as he pulled me in to a hug.

"Thank you, I really needed that." I said pulling away from him. As I decided I won't worry about trying to be with Logan.

"No problem, goodnight Carlos." He said as he stood up to make his way back to his room.

"Goodnight James." I said, as I walked to my room to go to sleep finally. I walk in my room to see that Logan isn't in his bed he's in mine, 'why would he sleep in my bed?' I thought as I made my way to Logan's bed. "Tomorrow I'm finding myself a boyfriend." I said under my breath as I drifted off to sleep.

**LOGAN POV**

When Carlos came back in to our room it woke me up. I heard him get in to my bed because I was sleeping in his hoping he would sleep with me but he didn't, as I was about to fall asleep again I heard Carlos say he's going to find a boyfriend tomorrow, I started to silently cry when he said that as I reluctantly fell back to sleep.

I woke up dreading today, remembering what Carlos said, brought tears to my eyes, 'ugh why do I have to be so stupid.' I yelled at myself as I look over at my bed not seeing Carlos, 'where is he?' I wondered as I got out of his bed to do my morning routine. After I got done I made my way to the kitchen, I noticed a note on the fridge from Kendall _went to the pool with Carlos and James. Mom and Katie went shopping, we didn't want to wake you up._ I sighed knowing what Carlos was actually going to do today. I decided to go find him and tell him how I really feel, I sprint out of the apartment going to the pool. I stop at the doors to the pool seeing Carlos sitting on one of the pool chairs next to James and Kendall talking, I open the door slowly and proceed to make my way to sit next to Kendall, not wanting to sit next to Carlos just in case he's mad at me.

"Hey, what you guys talking about?" I ask as I sit down. They all look at me, I look at all of them for a second but look at Carlos a second longer, I could see in his eyes a mixer of emotions, anger, sadness, and what looks to be confusion.

"Nothing." Kendall said suspiciously. But I decide to drop the subject, we sit in awkward silence before James decides to speak up.

"So…..what are we doing today?" James asked nervously looking at all of us for an answer.

"Can we go get some ice cream?" Carlos asked giving everyone the puppy dog look.

"Hey that sounds good, let's go Carlos." James said as he started to get up, Carlos jumped out of his seat running to get some ice cream. James sighs and turns back around.

"Do you guys want one?" He asked.

"Yes. Can you get me a vanilla one?" Kendall asked and James just nodded his head and looked at me.

"What about you." He said. I just shook my head no and with that he left. Kendall turn toward me and looks at me with his eyebrows raised.

"What up with up?" He asks worriedly.

"Nothing. Why do you ask?" I said a little bit annoyed at how he knows when something is bothering me.

"Well I know something's bothering you." He said in a know-it-all tone.

"Nothings bothering me Kendall." I practically yell at him. Thinking if I should actually tell him.

"Come on you can tell me anything." He said softly. I sigh and begin to tell him.

"Okay…well Carlos said he loves me and I told him I just wanted to be friends….then I heard him say he's going to find a boyfriend today...and I don't know what to do, I do love him and I want to be with him, but something inside of me told me it's not right to be with him." I said hoping he understood me as I began to cry.

"It's going to be okay Logan… just tell him how you feel." He said as he tried soothing me. I look at him questionably.

"What if he has already moved on? What if he doesn't love me anymore?" I sob out trying to regain my composer.

"Logan…if he actually loved you I don't think he would move on that fast. You need to go tell him how you feel before it's too late." He said trying to motivate me.

"Your right Kendall… Thank you." I said as I stood up to go find Carlos.

"I'm always right… No problem." He said smirking at me as I left to go find Carlos.I made my way to the little ice cream stand out front of the palm woods, I see James standing inline but I don't see Carlos anywhere. "Hey James. Where's Carlos?" I asked as I made my way over to him.

"Oh yeah, um…. Carlos is…um he went on a date." He said uneasy about the situation I look at him dumbfounded.

"WHAT! Who did he go on a date with?" I yell at him him in question.

"Um...with a guy named Dak, I think." He said as he turned back around to buy his ice cream, I was on the verge of tears so I decided to head back to the pool.I made my way back to the pool sitting next to Kendall again, I see Kendall open his mouth about to say something but quickly closes it as Camille and Jo come up to us.

"Hey guys." They said in unison

"Hey." Me and Kendall said, as Kendall and Jo engage in a conversation, while Camille just stands there staring at me.

"So Logan, what are you doing today?" She said in a flirty way.

"Nothing, what about you?" I ask not trying to be rude.

"Well if you're not doing anything, do you want to go see a movie with me?" She asked nervously.

"Sure that would be fun." I said. As Kendall turns to look at me and gives me a what-the-hell look, I just shrug as I got up to go with Camille to the movies. We made it the movies, deciding what movie we should see. She wanted to go see _The Vow_ as I wanted to go see _The Women in Black,_ but we made a compromise to go see _Chronicle._ As the movie started she wanted to hold my hand which I really didn't like, I wish it was Carlos watching the movie with me and holding my hand. Half way through the movie I was getting bored and decided to looked around only to see two other people seated two rows ahead of us, they were both guys and they were kissing. When they pulled apart I practically ran out of the theater crying as my heart broke into a million pieces.

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><p><strong>what do you guys think of the story so far...<strong>

**there will be a lot more drama in the next couple of chapters.**

**should i do more of the story in kendall and james pov? **

**oh yeah there is something that kendall isnt telling anyone...can yyou guess what he did?**


	5. Twist

**CARLOS POV**

As I made it to the ice cream stand, I got in line waiting for James. I see a guy get in line behind me, he has dark brown hair, hazel eyes, he's wearing a dark blue V-neck shirt under a leather jacket, and black skinny jeans what really define his bulge 'damn he's hot' I thought gushing over this random guy. I must have been staring because he looked at me uncomfortably.

"Hey, I'm Dak." he said awkwardly.

"H….H…Hey Carlos… I mean I'm Carlos." I stutter out nervously. Wondering where the hell James was at.

"Nice to meet you Carlos, Do you live here?" he asked looking around at the Palm Woods.

"Yeah, Do you?" I questioned, as James finally walked up to us, I turn to him to give him a 'where-were-you' look, he just lightly shrugged as though it wasn't a big deal. I turn back to Dak to see him standing there awkwardly.

"Dak this is James." I introduced to him as I turn back to James. "James this is Dak." I said as they said hi then gave an awkward stance.

"So Dak you didn't answer my question." I said remembering the topic we were talking about before James came into the picture.

"Oh yeah, I just moved here, and I honestly don't know where anything is." He said cutely and almost nervously as he changed bid view to the ground, I reach up and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, I could show you around if you want." I said kindly, shifting on my feet nervously. He looks at me with a smile.

"That would be great." He said happily.

"So…...when do you want me to show you around?" I ask, as I see James just standing there awkwardly. But also giving me a 'you go Carlos' smile.

"Um….How about now, if thats fine for you." He said, but ended with sincerity as I saw a small blush on his face.

"Yeah that's perfect, let's go." I said happily as I turn to James, "bye James." I said as me and Dak left the ice cream stand, I could hear James giggling from behind us, I turned my head and glared at him. Immediately he stopped, and with that I started to show Dak around.

We went everywhere I showed him the palm woods, and we went around the city showing him everything there is to do. After about three hours I got done showing him everything, he suggested we go to the movie, I was ecstatic when he suggested that because I really wanted to see _Chronicle,_but also I like spending time with him. We made it to the movies pretty fast, we bought the tickets and entered the room. I looked around to find that we were the only two in here, so we took a seat in the middle. We had five minutes before the movie started, we were just sitting in comfortable silence as I heard the door to this movie room open I turned around to see two people, I couldn't make out who they were so I turned back around to the screen. Throughout the movie me and Dak were holding hand, until halfway through the movie he turned to look at me and I did the same thing, he started to lean in and as did I, our lips meet in a slow kiss, until he deepened the kiss which I didn't mind at all. We reluctantly broke apart for air, as I heard the door slam shut then a second later open and close again I just shrugged it off. As the movie finally ended we made our way to the theater lobby holding hands but I let go and turned to him.

"Um….Dak." I said nervously biting my lip.

"Yes." He said looking into my eyes.

"Um….are we like…" I trailed of there looking at him as he nodded his head yes knowing what I was going to say, so we intertwine our fingers and left to go back to the Palm Woods.

**KENDALL POV**

Me and Jo are just sitting by the pool talking when I hear Logan say he's going to the movies with Camille, I turn to give him a what-the-hell look but he just shrugs. As they left I talked to Jo for about five more minutes before James showed up without Carlos.

"Where's Carlos?" I asked James kind of confused. As Jo left for some audition.

"He ditched me for this guy named Dak, he's showing him around town." He said as he sat down on a chair next to me, handing me my ice cream. "Hey, where's Logan?" He asked just noticing that Logan wasn't here.

"Oh yeah, he left with Camille to see movie." I said taking a bite of my ice cream.

"So I guess it's just you and me today." He said with a mouth full of ice cream, as I lightly chuckled and nodded my head. I was about done with my ice cream when I decide we should go to the apartment. I threw away my ice cream and we made our way to the apartment. Once inside me and James flopped down on the couch.

"Hey, wanna paly a video game?" I asked him trying to do something.

"Yeah okay, what game?" He asked not putting down his mirror and comb, I get up and make my way to the game station to look through the games.

"How about Left 4 dead 2?" I suggested looking at him.

"Yeah." James says as he puts the stupid mirror and comb away. I put the game in and took a seat next to him. We were playing for about four hours before an upset looking Logan came in. He looks at us then takes a seat on the opposite side of the couch.

"Hey what's wrong?" I ask with concern lining my voice. He looks at me with his sadden filled eyes.

"Can I talk to you….in privet?" He shyly askes looking at me nervously. I look at James and he got the hint to leave, once he left I looked at Logan.

"So…what happened?" I asked worriedly, he looks at me then looks at the floor and starts to speak. My face fell once he told me he saw Carlos kissing someone else, I know how it feels not to be able to be with the on you love and seeing them with someone else breaks your heart.

**JAMES POV**

After Logan asked Kendall to talk to him in privet I got the hint to leave, so I decided to go to the pool. I was walking through the lobby when I see Carlos with Dak smiling and holding hands I couldn't help but smile at the sight as Carlos waved for me to come over, I walked over to them smiling like an idiot.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Carlos asked kind of creped out.

"Oh no reason at all." I said, while Carlos takes a step back.

"Okay…guess what?" He said with a smile.

"What?" I said, looking at Carlos and Dak. Carlos grabs Dak's hand and raises it up.

"He's my boyfriend." Carlos tells me enthusiastically.

"Really that's awesome!" I said. As I wished I could have someone to call mine, but I don't think that's ever going to happen. My smile turns into a frown as I think of that person who will never love me.

"Well I'll see you later Dak." Carlos said turning to him and giving him a kiss.

"Okay I'll text you before I go to sleep, bye babe." Dak said placing a light kiss on Carlos's cheek before walking away. Carlos turns to me looking at the ground trying to hide the fact that he's blushing. While we were walking back to the apartment he was telling me what happened with him and Dak, I opened the door to the apartment when I saw….. 'Omg hopefully Carlos doesn't get upset' as I made my way further into the apartment with Carlos right behind me I could see tears starting to well up in his eyes, he wiped his eyes and made his way to his room before you know who could see.

**LOGAN POV**

When I was done talking to Kendall about what happened he told me everything will be okay and gave me a hug. We just sat in silence for a second before there was a loud annoying knock at the door. I look at Kendall then at the door, he got the hint I didn't want to answer it. He opened it and it was Camille.

"Where is he? Is he okay?" She asked franticly.

"He's okay. He's sitting on the couch." Kendall said annoyed.

She ran past him, jumping on me and giving me a hug as she pulls apart from the hug I see Kendall walking to his room but not without mouthing, 'have fun. I all but glare at him, and all he does is chuckle as he shuts the door to his room.

"What happened?" She asked in a worried angry tone. I look at her knowing what she's talking about.

"Nothing….I just didn't feel good but now I do." I lied giving a fake smile, but trying to lie to an actress was very hard.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked as she hugged me again.

"Yes Camille." I told her. She started to pull apart from the hug again but this time it was different she did it ever so slowly while stopping half way we both start to stare into each other's eyes and we drift into a passionate kiss, all I could do is picture it was Carlos kissing me. We pull apart from each other when we heard the front door close. As I turn to see who it is, I see James standing there with a disgusted look on his face, I look back at Camille.

"I think you should leave." I said. She just got up and leaves, I sighed in relief that she didn't say anything before she left, turning back to face James who is still standing there looking at me. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, ashamed of what he saw.

"WHY WERE YOU KISSING CAMILLE?" He screamed at me, all I did was look down not knowing why I actually kissed her.

"WHY DO YOU CARE?" I yelled back getting annoyed with him. I hear someone's bedroom door open.

"What's with all the yelling?" Kendall said making his way to the living room. He looks between me and James looking for an answer.

"Why don't you ask him?" James spat out, stomping to mine and Carlos's room.

"Why are you going in my room." I asked him, but he just ignored me and went into my room. I look back at Kendall confused; he just shrugs and sits down next to me.

"So what's going on?" Kendall asks wondering what me and James where yelling about. I stayed silent for a moment as I was about to speak, but I thought I heard someone crying. But being me I just shrugged it off thinking it was just my imagination.

"He caught me kissing Camille." I whispered looking down as I waited for him to speak.

"So….why did you kissing her?" He asked. My heart was racing I started breathing heaver, not knowing what to say.

**CARLOS POV**

I made it to my room without him noticing I came home and witnessing him kissing her. Tears start to roll down my cheek, as I flopped down on my bed I felt something sticky on my back so I sat up and took my shirt off and there's a piece of pizza stuck to my shirt. I toss the shirt with the pizza still stuck to it, in into a random corner. Lying back down I start feeling all of these weird emotions happy that he's with someone, sad, angry and jealous that I couldn't be with him, reaching under my bed I grab a tiny box which has a razor and tissue in it. Opening it up I look at it for a second 'should I really do this again' I thought as I brought the razor to my wrist about to cut when the door to my room opens and in walks James, quickly I throw the razor back in the box and put the box under my pillow before he could see what I was about to do. He shuts the door quietly and makes his way over to me sitting down right next to me, looking at me with concerned eyes.

"You okay buddy?" He asks while rubbing my back. I look at him the look back down.

"Yeah I'm fine….why wouldn't I be?" I lied. He looked at me like he knew something.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong Carlos?" he said in an unreadable tone.

"I'm sure James, nothing's wrong I'm fine." I said getting annoyed with him.

"Really if you are fine then why were you about to cut yourself?" He said grapping the box underneath my pillow, I didn't know what was happening before it was too late. I looked at him and could see he was disappointed in me, but I couldn't help it seeing Logan kissing Camille just made me want to do it. I started crying uncontrollable. As James was trying to comfort me the door to my room opened and standing there was.

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><p>Throughout the palm woods everybody was in there room going to sleep except two kids in the basement. This girl hired this boy to help her with her evil plan.<p>

"So is our plan going to work?" she asked

"I don't know yet, were you able to accomplished your side of the plan yet?" he asked smirking.

"Yes and no. it could go either way but I'll try more tomorrow." She said sadly. As the both headed out of the basement to go back to their respected apartment.

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><p><strong>What do you guys think?<strong>

**Okay so who do you think is standing in the door way?**

**Who are the 2 mystery people and whats there evil plan?**

**Okay sorry for ending this chp like this but it has to be done for the next chp.**

**and sorry about switching the pov a lot in this chp.**

**Okay thanks for the reviews from anyone who has left one :) **

**and dont forget to review this chp and if you want you can leave ideas :)**


	6. Hello Goodbye Hello Goodbye

**Oay sorry about not updating that much it a long story but the short version is had midterms and finalls and work and other stuff so yea but i shoould be able to update like every week...hopefully **

**Okay i do not own Big time rush but i some time wish i did ;D okay on to the story hope you guys like oh i before i forget this chapter is kinda short sorry :(**

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><p><strong>KENDALL POV<strong>

I was sitting on the couch waiting for him to answer me but he never did. I started getting impatient so I decided to speak up.

"Why were you kissing Camille?" I asked calmly hoping he would answer this time he just looks at me with his glossy eyes looking like he's about to cry.

"I….I….I don't know." He stuttered out begging to cry or shall I say sob.

"Come on Logan everything's going to be alright, but why were you kissing Camille? There has to be a reason." I said in a calm voice as I walked over to him and rubbed his back.

"I don't know, we just got caught up in the moment, and when I was kissing her I was thinking it was Carlos." He said though sobs but eventually he stopped sobbing.

"Well….you know you're going to have to talk to him about this." I told him very seriously, it wasn't like I didn't know how these things worked out. I mean everyone thought that me and Jo just happened, when in truth it was an accident well really it is my cover.

"Yeah Kendall, you're right. After all this is something I can't hide…even from my friend." Logan said as he stood up. He had stopped sobbing and looked ready to talk to Carlos….that was if the Latino would even talk to him.

"Well buddy, I wish you luck." I told him with a small smile. After all I just wanted to see both my friends happy.

"Thanks." Logan said to me as he walked to Carlos's room, after about a minute James walked out.

"What is he going to do?" James asked slightly pissed as he sat across from me.

"He is going to talk to Carlos. Besides you don't want them to end up like us…..do you?" I asked him as I took Logan's seat.

"This isn't about us…..but to answer your question. No I don't, both of them deserve better." James said with a slight blush as he folded his arms.

"Well then there you go. And it's our jobs as friends, band mates, roommates, and brothers to help them." I told James as we both jumped at the sound of a door being slammed shut and a very pissed off Carlos walking out and leaving the apartment. "This isn't good." I said to myself as James got up and followed after Carlos.

**Carlos POV**

Standing in the doorway was a nerves looking Logan 'God he's cute when he's nerves.' 'No you're pissed off at him' my thoughts fought with me. As he entered the room, James just got up and looked at me for a second and left.

After James left the room, Logan was standing there awkwardly, 'what have I done to deserve this heart break?' I asked mentally as Logan walked over to me. "What the hell do you want?" I asked with venom in my voice, which caused him to jump. 'Good, feel my pain, you evil jerk.' I thought evilly as the image of Camille in his lap kissing him. He should be mine but oh well I have Dak now and he loves me and will never hurt me like he has.

"I want to talk to you about what happened…..what you saw was an accident….I never meant it to happen…..or get that far." Logan said to me, obviously trying to find the right way to tell me all of this.

"And you want me to believe that? Huh, well guess what it's not going to happen. You know if you wanted to be with her then that's all you had to tell me…not make me think that there might actually be a chance for us. But no you wanted to hurt me even deeper than that Logan, I thought you were the good guy the guy who would always be there if things got rough…if one of your friends needed you." I spat back at him with all my hatred for what happened. And then my vision went blurry because I had tears in my eyes. 'Damnit, I hate him he did this to me.' I thought to myself.

"Carlos, I never meant to hurt you, and I'm sorry you walked in on that. I was just caught up in the moment and things just went from there. I want to be with you but…" I cut him off with a slap as the tears rolled down my checks.

"How could you say that to me?" Was all I said before running out of the room and slamming the door. I saw the others talking about something, but I just made my way to the front door and walked out. I had a feeling that James was behind me, but I still didn't care. I just had to get away from Logan before I did something very stupid. 'Damn him….damn him. How could he…..' I just kept asking myself as I saw Camille talking to Jo. 'Her, she did this.' I told myself as I made a bee line over to where she was.

"Oh hey Carlos how are?" Jo asked in her normal friendly tone.

"Hey Carlos, I'm sorry you had to see that. Honestly I don't know what came over us…well me." Camille said to me as she faced me, I felt my arm raising and in slow motion I saw it going across her face…..well almost until someone stopped me. We all looked back to see James standing there holding me by the wrist and a stupid smile on his face.

"There you are Carlos, I was looking everywhere for you." He said in a funny tone.

"Let me go James." I growled at him.

"Come now, we have a place to be." He said like the jerk I knew him to be. "Jo, Camille." He greeted them and dragged me off to another direction away from the girls.

"What the hell James?" I asked him snatching away my wrist.

"Look, I understand that you're hurting, but hurting Camille won't do you any good. Trust me on this one, okay?"

"But…but…." I started and ended up crying. I felt James hug me and tell me that everything was going to be alright, but I knew everything won't be okay, I love Logan and he doesn't love me back but at least I have Dak, but it's not the same I don't get butterfly's in my stomach when I'm with him, he doesn't make my heart beat fast and slow at the same time.

"T…Thank you." I said sniffling a little bit.

"For what?" he said looking kind of confused.

"For being there for me, thank you." I said.

"No problem buddy, hey lets head back to the apartment." He said turning to walk back.

"No I need to go talk to someone I'll be there in a little bit." I said, he gave me a confused look.

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked.

"No thanks." I said and started to walk away. 'I can't believe I'm about to do this' I thought to myself as I look around trying to find the person I need to talk to right now. I decided to go to the pool area to look, but that person wasn't there so I pulled out my phone and text. _Hey where are you?-C. _I sat down one of the pool chairs waiting for a text back. _Hi I'm in my apartment do you want to come up or meet somewhere?-?_ I text back _Um…. I'll be up there in a minute okay.-C _I got a text back saying okay and made my way up to _the _apartment.

**LOGAN POV**

I was so stunned by him slapping me, he's not the kind of person that hits people unless they really hurt him or hurt someone he love's and cares about like that one time were he took on the whole 8th grade because they were going to beat me up but he protected me by beating the shit out of them. A small smile tried to play across my face by that memory but I remember what just happened and I couldn't help but frown 'Why do I have to be so stupid.' I thought angrily to myself. As I was about to leave to go find Carlos again, Kendall came in.

"Hey bud you okay?" he said worriedly. I tried to give him my best fake smile but anyone could see right through it.

"Yeah I'm fine Kendall." I said trying to reassure him but by the look on his face it didn't work.

"Logan, I know you're not okay, but if you don't want to talk about it I understand." He said giving me a well needed hug. I hugged him back, after about a minute we broke apart.

"Thank you I really needed that." I said with a sigh at the end knowing I should go find Carlos.

"No problem, any time you need to talk I'm here for you." He said in a reassuring tone.

"Okay thank you…again, I think I should go find him." I said walking towards the door.

"Hopefully you can fix this Logan." He shouted as I left the apartment. I walked down the stairs and entered the lobby and I see Camille and Jo talking 'I wonder if they seen Carlos.' I thought to myself as I made my way over there even though this all started with me and Camille but I can't complain right now I just need to find him.

"Hey Jo, Hey Camille." I said trying not to say _Her _name with venom.

"Hey Logan, what's up." Jo asked while Camille just stands there awkwardly.

"Hi Logan." Camille said quietly.

"Oh nothing, I was just wondering if you to have seen Carlos anywhere?" I said looking at both of them.

"He was just here but James pulled him way and they left but after that I don't know where he is. Sorry." Jo said

"Okay well thank you. I'll see you guys around. Bye." I said and turned away to walk to the pool I heard both of them say bye. I opened the door to the pool area walking out, scanning the area looking for Carlos but I don't see him 'maybe he's in one of the cabanas.' I thought to myself as I made my way to each and every last one. He wasn't in the first three hopefully he's in the last one. I got this weird feeling like something bad was about to happen but I just shrugged it off gripping the drapes of the cabana as a cold chill ran down my spine making me feel even more nerves I pulled the drapes open slowly as I closed my eyes until the drapes where fully open I reopened my eyes. I sighed in relief to see that there was no one in there but now I still have to find where the hell Carlos is at. I decided to leave the pool area and go to the park hoping he might be there.

I finally made it to the park, there's only a few people here a couple of them are playing with a Frisbee, some are just sitting talking to each other. I start walking around looking for him, I walk around the park about three times to make sure I didn't miss him anywhere but he was nowhere to be found, sitting at one of the parks benches trying to think where else he could have run off to, well there's on place I haven't looked but I don't want to think that's where he's at, so I decide to walk back home. Standing up from the bench I get another cold chill that ran down my spine I look around to see if there was any one there but there wasn't so I started walking home. I was in my own little world think of where the hell Carlos could be, 'why do I love him? Why does he love me? why couldn't life be simple' sighed as I kept think of him 'why him? Why me? Why did I kiss Camille? Why did I kiss her?...' I was broken out of my thought by someone running into me or me running into them.

"Are you okay I'm so so so sorry' the person said

"Yeah I'm fine are you….Carlos" I asked the last part looking up at him tying to stand up.

"L…L…Logan?" he stuttered.

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><p><strong>OMG so what do you think!<strong>

**Why was Carlos running on the street? who did he talk to earier?**

**Oh well im sorry to say this story is almost over because not getting that much feed back so if i get more review i will update fast and the story will be long but if not the story will end in the next 4 chapters and the updates will be very very slow :D**

**Well yeah thanks for reading dont forget to**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	7. Is This The END?

**Yeah I'm not going to say sorry for taking a long time to update this horrible story, I'm actually glad this is going to be my last chapter for this story :D but what can I say this was my first time writing a story, but my new one Déjà vu is coming along nicely you guys should go read it and tell me what you think. Oh yeah be on the lookout for a new story that I'm a co-writer for :D it's a BTR/ supernatural fic. Okay nobody probably read this anyways so lets get to the story ugh it sucks so much I should of ended it a long time ago, even if this chapter doesn't tie everything together I'm done you hear me I'm done with this story*sigh* this has to be the worst thing I have ever read or wrote. *shot me now* okay you can read this if u want…..**

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><p><strong>CARLOS POV<strong>

I ran out of the palm woods as fast as I could, not caring about all the weird looks I was getting, I could tell my eyes were blood shot and puff plus my cheeks where stained with tears. Running down the street wonder what did I do to deserve this, then something hit me making me fall over.

"Are you okay I'm so so so sorry" I said noticing it was a person I ran into.

"Yeah I'm fine are you….Carlos?" Logan said, I knew it was him just by his voice.

"L…L…Logan?" I stuttered out not wanting to cry in front of him and I didn't want him to see the bruises I had.

"C…Carlos what happened?" He said looking me over, I couldn't hold back the tears any more.

"…_Dak…"_ was all I could say as I tried to calm down so I could tell him what happened.

*******Flash Back*******

Walking to the elevator I press the 3rd floor button, as the bell dings telling me that I'm on the 3rd floor I step out as a wave of nervousness hit me 'Should I do this?' I ask myself as I made my way to his apartment 3T, knocking on the door waiting for him to answer, the door starts to open 'should I run?' I thought 'well it's too late now' I sighed as I try to put a smile on my face.

"Hey babe what did you want to talk about?" Dak asked stepping aside to let me in.

"Well…Um…" I tried to speak but I couldn't find the right word to do so.

"Spit it out." He said sitting down on his couch.

"Well I've never done this before and I don't know how to say this." I said quietly.

"What haven't you done before?" he asked staring at me.

"Well….I think um…. I want to break up." I said even quitter than last time but he heard me.

"What! Did I hear you right? You want to break up with me? Hahaha." He said with an evil smirk getting up from the couch and walking over to me. "No I don't think so, you can't break up with me." He said grabbing my shirt and pushing me into a wall, I started to tear up.

"I'm sorry but I can't be in a relationship right now." I whimpered, as he smirked, I saw him pull back his fist and punched me in the face.

"We are not braking up, you understand." He said darkly, I don't know where this came from but I pushed him off me.

"No Dak we are through." I said walking to the door but was ruffle pushed back and being thrown to the floor.

"I guess you didn't understand me, Carlitos." He spat kicking me in the ribs, as he laughed evilly. But after a few more kicks he stopped and looked at me there was something different in his eyes that I haven't seen before. "Now I'm going to make you fully understand me. I'm going to make you mine and only mine." He said with a laugh, he started to take off his shirt when I jumped up and pushed him over and running out the door, I didn't feel any pain because the adrenalin pumping until I ran into someone when I was running down the street.

***End FlashBack***

I look up at Logan after telling him what happened, his face is red with anger looking like he wants to rip some one's head off.

"WHERE IS HE, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM." He yells, I started to back away from him getting scared, as i did so he saw him and his expression softened. "I'm sorry." He said. walking closer to me.

"I….It's okay." I stutter out looking into Logan's big brown eyes, I start to lean in and he does to as our lips touch it felt like the whole world stopped, I ran my tongue along his bottom lip asking for entrance and he let me deepen the kiss as our tongues fought for dominance which of course I won, I was getting turned on by the taste of his mouth and being able to explore it with my tongue but for the need of oxygen we broke apart breathing heavy.

"That was…" he said taking a deep breath.

"Amazing." I said placing another kiss to his swollen lips.

**~Line break 1 month! ~**

For the past month me and Logan have been dating, after that night we kissed we spend every second together. What kind of weird is after that night I haven't seen Dak or Camille around, well I guess that's a good think right? I actually feel happy again but for some odd reason I feel like something bad is going to happen. Sitting on one of the lounge chairs by the pool I couldn't help but think about Logan and all the wonderful times we had this month, it feels so good to be able to say that were finally boyfriends, I would do anything for him.

"Hi." Someone said, I look up to see a blonde guy standing there.

"Hi?" I said, looking at him I haven't seen him around here before but theres something about him that seems familiar.

"Um…I just moved here and was…um wondering if you could show me around." He said looking down.

"Sure… I guess. Hey what's your name?" I asked, he looked at me for a second with a weird look what I've seen before.

"D…Drake." He said uneasily I stare at him with my eyebrow cocked.

"…Okay, nice to meet you Drake, my name is Carlos." I said with a forced smile. "Let me show you around now." I said standing up and started walking.

After about an hour of showing Drake around we went back to the lobby and sat down.

"Hey, is there a basement here?" He asked.

"I think so, why?" I said looking at him.

"Just wondering, um.. would you mind showing me it?" He said looking down. I had a weird feeling about this.

"Sure I guess." I said as I felt a chill run down my back making the hairs on my neck stand up. I stood up and so did he.

We stop in front of the basement door and I still couldn't shack this feeling like something bad was about to happen.

"So here it is." I said backing away from the door.

"Um… are you going to show me what's down there?" he said with his eyebrows raised, and at that moment I knew who he was, I stared at him wide-eyed.

"D…D…Dak?" I stuttered out backing away from him.

"Oh wow you finally figured it out." He said with a smirk lounging at my, he grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me towards the basement door. Opening the door he pushed me in and I started falling down the stairs, the pain was unbearable by the time I was about to hit the last couple of stairs I blacked out.

Opening my eyes slowly my head was throbbing and my hands and feet were bond by rope, looking around I could barely see in front of me I was surrounded by darkness and I knew I wasn't in the basement I was in a small confined space and I was moving. I figured out that I was in a trunk of a car I could hear to people talking I knew one was a guy and the other was a girl but their voices were muffled so I couldn't actually pin point who it was but I'm pretty sure one was _Dak._

The car started to slow down and finally come to a stop, about a minute pass when I heard two doors open and close and footsteps walking towards the trunk. The hatch to the trunk was unlocked and then opened and standing there with evilly grins plastered on their face was Dak and Camille 'why was she doing this too?' I asked myself as I was forcefully pulled out of the trunk and being thrown to the ground harshly, looking around we were in the middle of a desert.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked looking up at them.

"Because you didn't listen to me." He said laughing evilly.

"What about you?" I said looking at Camille.

"Because I should be with Logan and not you!" She spat, Dak started pulling me up to my feet and dragging me away from the car.

After about five minutes of being dragged he finally let go to me and I fell to the floor. Camille standing next to him smiling darkly at me and that's when I understood what was about to happen when Dak pulled out a gun and aimed it at me.

"Any last words." He spat. I looked at him with tears in my eyes, I wasn't going to cry over dying but about not being able to tell Logan goodbye and tell him I love him on more time.

"Yeah I do." I said glaring at them. "You know you'll never get away with this oh and see you in hell ass hole." I spat at both of them.

"We already got away with it." He said kicking me in the ribs. "Bye." He said darkly aiming the gun towards my head, I closed my eyes and waited for him to shoot.

"CARLOS!" Someone said, and I knew who it was it was Logan my eyes shot open then.

_BANG BANG BANG!_

**The End…**

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><p><strong>oh so what do you think of the ending or is it the ending?<strong>

**Who got shoot? sorry about grammer errors.**

**Please REVIEW!**


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